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Joined on 7 March, 2014
Probably Unnecessary: This Amber Alert Mentions That The Missing Kid’s Nickname At School Is ‘Big Lord Beefcake’
I Spent My Whole Life Defending Cruella De Vil. Then I Saw ‘101 Dalmatians.’
Heartbreaking: This Elderly Woman’s Family Thinks She’s Lying About The Fact That ALF Is A Janitor At Her Nursing Home And Sometimes Bullies Her
Gotta Pay The Bills: PBS Just Got Really Desperate During A Pledge Drive And Offered Up One Night Of Passion With Thomas The Tank Engine
Hell Yes: These Orphans Are Reclaiming Mush By Opening A Fancy Mush Restaurant On The Same Street Where The Headmaster Once Served Them Mush Every Day
5 Fallback Animals That Could Symbolize Wisdom If The Worst Should Ever Happen To Owls
The Fuck Else Could He Have Going On Today? Dad Is Currently Pushing You Off The Phone Even Though You’re The Young And Interesting One
Farewell, Donald JOHN Trump! What a thrilling 39 years it has been.
Fighting Impeachment: Trump Has Had Barron Bury Him Up To The Neck In The White House Lawn So That He Cannot Be Removed From Office
Preparing For The Worst: President Trump Has Asked For Ronald McDonald To Sing ‘Sexual Healing’ At His Funeral If He Dies Of Covid-19
National Security Crisis: The White House Is In Panic Mode After President Trump Tweeted ‘Karate Dave Is Coming To Kill Me’
Major Security Crisis: The Rooster That’s Loose In The White House Is No Longer Afraid Of The Jack-O’-Lantern President Trump Put Outside The Oval Office To Scare It Away
Patriots Rejoice! Donald Trump Has Appointed Professor Rat As The U.S. Secretary Of Fireworks
Becoming Presidential: Officials Say That Trump’s Japanese Geisha Character Was More Respectful Than Usual When He Showed It To The Japanese Prime Minister
Cracking Façade: Reince Priebus Just Chased An On-Fire Donald Trump Down The Hallway In Full View Of A White House Tour Group
Our Brave Savior: Donald Trump Is Working TIRELESSLY To Return The Precious White Orbs Obama STOLE From The FURIOUS Dwarf King That Lives Under America
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